Everybody needs one

Working for an IT company you would expect flat screens and high spec PC's, which we have, well, flat screens anyway. But when it comes to printers, don't expect much, so we don't.

Last week we got a new printer. One that would be able to print multiple pages without jamming. Quite a novelty. New off course being a relative term. It was a hand-me-down, so what was the catch?

Printing on headed paper was the trick. But that's what our departmental 'nerd' is for. He found the right settings, and now everyone is happy.

A printer hero; everybody needs one.

Quiet during storm

As most of our afternoon workload comes from our Miami office, we had a very quiet day today. But where do you ship CD-Roms addressed to Miami?

Hopefully everything will back up and running again soon. I've eaten too many chocolates this afternoon.

Best wishes to all in the hurricane belt. Let me know where to ship the chocolates before I eat them all!

A lie is a lie

Picking up a couple of books in the bookshop today I came across a book called, "Great lies to tell little kids";

"Rain is Gods wee wee" - That should encourage religion.

Or maybe this is more likely to encourage religion? - "Wine makes Mommy clever". Albeit a different kind of religion.

I try not to tell our 3 year old lies, but it is just so easily done... and it can help avoid a string of "Why?".

But wine does make Mommy clever. And so does beer and snaps with lunch, so excuse the spelling.

Chewing gum & free Ipods

When I was at school, and I realise this very much dates me, we had chewing gum chainmail.

Send a pack of chewing gum to the name on top of the list, add your own details at the bottom, pass the amended letter to 3 friends, and within X amount of weeks you will recieve X packs of chewing gum.

People all over the world has heard of pyramid business schemes which exploit the same principel, as well as the Free Ipod schemes.

It's all very well, unless your name is at the bottom of the list when the chain is broken.

Don't you just hate it when you get chewing gum stuck to your shoe?

Turner (sur) prize

Will the Turner prize be won by an actual artist for a change, or will the shed, turned boat, turned shed sail away with the £25,000 art prize?

The idea of you being able to turn the shed back onto a boat and sail off down the thames is supposed to be appealing? Does it come with tools and instructions?

And a boat builder!

What will you send?

I have always had a strange facination with quotes.

Some people quote famous authors, politicians or philosophers, but my favourite quotes often, though probably equally, or in some cases maybe even more known, come from adverts.

So if you have ever found yourself quoting post office stamps, you are not alone.








That which doesn't kill you, makes you stronger.

You're excused

If you are distracted by your baby or todler in the back seat you are excused from most erratic driving behaviours. You can even get a sign so you can advertise the fact to your fellow motorists that you have a license to behave badly in traffic.

There is no escuse for not paying attention in traffic because your mobile phone is ringing though. So they have been banned.

Can't you just get a 'mobile-phone-in-car' sticker for your back window?

From drunk people and children...

The truth, the whole innocent truth.

"Mommy, can we watch Dumbo?"
"Can we watch the elefant with the big ears? He can fly!"
"Mommy, you have big ears like Dumbo"

Next he will be expecting me to fly.

But that is kids for you. They think their parents can do everything.

Off the peg

Ink, glue and stickers are some of the more commen stains on our laundry. So as the good housewife I am I do not only seperate into seperate colours, but individually threat stains as per Laundry Cleaning Tips and Laundry Hints.

Actually, we do seperate according to colours, but it is done when dirty clothes are added to our laundry sorter, and all I do is stick it in the washing machine as the seperate compartments in the laundry sorter fills up.

Considering the temperature outside is for sweaters and coats, what is our 3 year olds orange shorts doing with the red laundry?

Bite the dust.

In my new office we have nice (office standards) abstract paintings on the walls, but I have yet to find one which is hanging straight.

Back in college I had a teacher who would not be able to start the lesson till all picture frames where hanging straight. How to delay a lesson...

But then again, in those days when classrooms still had blackboards and chalk, she would throw the damp blackboard cleaning sponge at you, with chalk dust flying through the air, if she felt you where not paying 110% attention.

She taught Latin, what did she expect?

Lunch Break

Having a history of a minimum 45min commute to and from work, I have always either bought lunch, or gotten up in the morning with time to make a sandwich to bring in.

Back in my granddads days he would go home for lunch, and my grandmother would have lunch in the table. After lunch he would go back to work and she would clear the table and start dinner prepartions.

In my new job, when we don't go to the pub to play pool (but that's another story), or go to the chinese for the lunch buffet, I live so close that I can have lunch at home.

So why is it that modern life means there is noone at home to have lunch with? Never mind cook it for me!

Life in the toilet

"Don't pee on me and tell me it is raining"

We watched a joke on TV were a singing man popped his head up, as people lifted the toilet seat in a public toilet. For ages our 3 year old would check for the man in the toilet before he would have a pee.

Don't you just hate it when people pee on you?

Good advice?

He was a very good entertainer, and in the 10-15 minutes his performance lasted, he had managed to draw a crowd of about 70 people.

"Go to school. Go to college. Go to University. Get a diploma. I did" said the street magician after having been wrapped in a 20 meter long chain with padlocks to keep it together. "Now this is my job", and then he wrangled his way out of the restraints.

Alternatively, get a desk job which pays real money.